Freshnuts – MC Freshnuts

Chapter One:

MC Freshnuts drifted in the cosmic wind in the belly of The Mack. The metal on the Big Rig was silent, the hull solid against the stress of space. The Mack, cloaked and mirroring space around it, a silent behemoth in the black of space lurking, waiting. The retrofit was perfect. The paint a silent matte black, formulated in the lab with Fresh’s own hands and was infused with rare metals from the darkest corners of space to absorb any signals or light that hit it. The 70’s were a golden era as far as he was concerned, especially the trucks. This 1976 Mack had taken no time at all to seal up and pressurize. The engine removed and replaced with an ION drive smuggled in from MG32 on the other side of the galaxy, the only place he could find the perfect fit for the massive engine cavity on the Mack.  Just like every other customization he had done it hummed with power and moved very fast. This was his only big rig however and it had a car hauler sitting behind it that had also been retrofitted for space. Four cars, he could haul four cars off the planet with this rig, if he could get in, steal them and get off the planet undetected.
So Freshnuts waited, drifted in the black of space watching the blue ball of Earth spin in his windshield. The engine was off, electronics off except for one small device drawing minimal power, the device cloaked his heartbeat and the emf voltages his body gave off. The device buzzed against his right leg in the pocket of the canvas flight pants, it was working, they were close. He slouched in the drivers seat beneath a black hoodie and took a pull on the cheroot in his teeth. The smoke drifted into the quiet space of the darkened cockpit and obscured the target of Freshnut’s intense gaze. Beneath him in the quiet, unaware an American F-15 cruised miles beneath him in the Earths orbit. It was on patrol, they always were. Freshnuts sideways smirk gained intensity as he shifted forward in the seat and gripped the wheel. The leather seats creaked in the close quarters and silence, his eye cocked towards the now almost gone F-15 and the growing distance between them. Even something as small as a seat creak could be detected. The scanners on the US military hardware was very precise and sensitive and nothing to be trifled with. The F15 didn’t stop or change course, that was all he had to tell him there was no compromise. The radio and comm hardware was still powered off along with all the engines and electronics. Freshnuts was basically sitting in a tin can full of air that would eventually run out if he didn’t turn the life support hardware back on. As the US Military patrol dissipated on the horizon he switched everything back on. There was only about 2 minutes until the next fighter group made it’s way around the planet. Freshnuts would be long gone by then, hopefully. He winced as he reached out for the engine start, eyes closed in anticipation of… nothing,  a click. The turbines didn’t spin up, the light drive didn’t reset. Nothing came on. Freshnuts dropped his chin to his chest with a sign of defeat. Shaking his head in disgust he raised clawed shaking hands and clenched them to fists “No!’ he started to scream, but it choked off into something like “Nnnnnngghhhh” as he realized he was still in range of the Carrier USS Nimitz’s long range lower granularity scanners above the north pole. They might not be able to hear his driver’s seat creak but they could sure hear him yelling in a can in the dead of space.
As he cursed The Mack truck through clenched teeth silently, Freshnuts launched himself out of the drivers seat and ripped the center console between the seats of the Semi off, exposing the engine compartment. The power cells lit up his face from below with their blue light. There was power, the engine’s just not kicking on. That fuckign piece of shit at the Chop Shop fucked him again, loose wires.  Freshnuts reached into the cavity between the seats and grabbed a bundle of wires, pulling out the mass of tangled cables and fiber optics. He untangled a glowing fiber of metal conduit, with unspoken curses and clenched teeth he followed the cable back up into the dash and drivers console. A click and the lead snapped back into the socket in the dash. The Mack thumped with a quick shake and the engine turbines began to whine, growing in intensity as Freshnuts jumped up into a crouch and into the drivers seat. He hadn’t bothered to put back the engine cover and the blue lights gained intensity along with the whining engine, The light was too much, he was trying to stealth the US Military, not put up Christmas lights. He reached over with one hand on the wheel as The Mack lurched forward at ludicrous speed and kicked the engine cover back into place, the roar of the engine ceased along with the lights from it as the cover clamped shut.
Freshnuts turned his attention to the windshield and the Earth spinning on the other side of it. His right foot stomped on the gas pedal, the ship jumped forward, spinning into a straight line across the planet, he followed the line of the departing F-15 patrol, staying between the two flights of military planes and matching their speed, a tiny window was all he had needed, just a bubble between the scanners, he exploited it now, cruising ever lower towards the planet and his destination. He had orders for four cars a Lamborghini, Porsche, Bugatti, Ferrari, get them get off the planet and back to the chop shop. The atmosphere burned against The Mack’s windshield and he entered the Earth.